Chapter 4: Being with Mai, As Expected It's Impossible! (*It's Possible)

 

*****

Monday started with cloudy weather since morning, also, this heavy feeling inside my chest won't go away.

Even though this is the last week of June, the mood between me and Mai makes it hard for us to see each other. How depressing...

...Since that day.

When I washed my face, I couldn't shake off the sensation of her fingers lingering on my body, or the pain on my palm after I slapped her.

I get it. I'll apologize.

Even though she's the root of this problem, I admit that I was going too far to raise my hand on her. Moreover, she's a model, so it's not good to damage her battle weapon like that.

But still, apologizing even though she's the one who did something like that to my body is humiliating...

Whatever. At least I'll put on my best battle mode by carefully applying this makeup from the other day. I also arrange my hair neatly and go straight to school.

Even though I was fully prepared for our battle, Mai didn't come to school this morning. She really messed up my rhythm.

...I wonder if she’s still busy with her works.

During lunch break, I eat together with the usual members. I chewed on my bread while letting my mind float around.

When I'm looking at Ajisai-san who’s pulling out her handmade lunchbox, I can't help but have my heart beating faster...Now that I think about it, after Ajisai-san left on that day, I ended up grappling with Mai after all...

Satsuki-san didn't talk as much as usual, but just like using her energy, Kaho-chan has been very merry since earlier.

"Kaho-chan, is there something good happening?"
"Hehehe, so you realize, Ajisai-chan? Y'see, today after school, y'see. Fufufu."
"Ah! I smell romance.
"It's still a secret for now!"

When I'm looking at them, I instantly think about us. I wonder if our relationship can be fixed and we'll be able to enjoy our time like that again.

...I don't know, but I really want for our relationship to go back like before.

Like before...what kind of relationship was that? Friends from the same group? Best friends? Or...?

Still, can I even apologize when my head is in a mess like this...

Somehow I keep being anxious and doubt everything. Me and my poor communication skills!

When I'm in the middle of pondering over everything in my head, suddenly.

"Hey, Amaori."

When I'm alone, Satsuki-san approaches me.

"Can you spare your time after school for a bit?"

Eh, that's rare.

I'm not really in a mood to hang out today...But I can't reject someone's invitation.

My stomach hurts.

But when I look at her eyes, they were not a look when you invite your friends to have fun. They look like marble, eyes without any emotions.

"I want to talk about Mai."
"Eh?"

Without saying anything, she kept looking at me with that mysterious air. The black stains inside my heart are getting larger.

"After school, at the rooftop."

That was supposed to be a secret just between me and Mai.

Eh.......could it be that Satsuki-san already knows!?

***

The door toward the rooftop is unlocked. Even though no one else than me and Mai were supposed to have the key...

I placed my hand on the door timidly.

I slowly opened the door and looked around the rooftop, the only thing that greeted me was only the cloudy sky.

...She hasn't come yet?

"Did you know? Actually, the rooftop key hasn't changed since a long time ago, so there's a lot of spare keys around."

I heard a voice so I'm looking around the rooftop. From the water tower's shadow, Satsuki-san appeared calmly. With that gorgeous black hair and cold eyes, she looked like a witch who materializes from the darkness.

"Why were you hiding..."
"I don't want to invite any misunderstandings if someone saw us after all."
"What kinds of misunderstandings?"
"...Who knows."

She answered with a brusque manner.

Usually, she holds a proper conversation following society's standard, but looking at her current behavior, it seems like she doesn't have any intention to have a normal conversation as friends...

Eh, could it be that she hates me now? Thinking about that possibility made me shudder.

"A-anyway, is there any need to specifically ask me to come here?"

Her intention was very hazy, I ended up using keigo when questioning Satsuki-san. Like she's being uninterested, she calmly walked toward the fence.

"Suicide attempt."

My body reacted to those words.

"Match between friends and lovers."
"Umm."
"Pool café, Odaiba Plaza, taking shelter during rain in the hotel room."
"Why did you know about those!?"

Long distance vision? Is she really a witch?

Satsuki-san let out a simple laugh and turned her body to my direction. Her long hair is swaying around due to the strong wind. At that moment, just for a short while, her figure is leaping with Mai inside my head.

When it's just us alone, I finally figure out the fact that Satsuki-san's beauty is really something that’s worthy to stand beside Mai as an equal.

"Well then, I wonder how?"

Her beauty is tantalizing, I feel like I would get cut if I tried to touch her. I'm getting taken aback by her appearance.

"C-could it be, you are my stalker...!?"
"Are you okay? I think you got influenced by her over-high self-esteem"
"Then, are you Oozuka-san's stalker?"

She let out a heavy sigh like she's losing hope in humanity.

"Yesterday, she came to my house. She told me everything."
"Everything!?"
"While crying."
"While crying!?"

So she also cries...

"She cried, that girl. She won't show it to anyone other than me though."

She answered me casually like she knew what was inside my mind. Scary.

"Thanks to that I got a severe lack of sleep...It's all her fault..."

She set her eyes with an overbearing killing intent that kept appearing and disappearing. I thought of apologizing to her, but if I really do that, I feel like I would only pour fuel to the raging fire...

"Umm...why would she do that..."
"She just wanted someone to hear her out, I guess. She was so frail that she looked like she could snap anytime."
"Why..."

I pondered by myself when I realized something.

Eh. She told Satsuki-san everything?

"E-everything...Umm, she told you, like, everything?"
"I already said that."

I feel like my blood has drawn away from my body.

Everything, including those stuff we did, she told Satsuki-san, all of them?

This must be a joke. Right?

Even if it's Satsuki-san, she knows that it's bad enough that she avoids her gaze.

"...Y-you don't have to mind it that much. Whatever your interests are, it's something up to yourself. Even though it was between girls, it's not a problem. I don't have that kind of prejudice anyway."
"That's not the problem! But wait, that's also wrong! I was not able to refuse her..."
"Well that's true."
"Eh?"
"She told me. She admitted that she did something that hurt you."
"...Mai."

When she heard me calling for Mai by her first name, Satsuki-san's shoulders twitched a little and she raised her eyebrows while looking at me.

But then, she let out a huge sigh again.

"She told me that it must be scary to get attacked by someone that you don't even like. She was being too impertinent, is what she said. She was being too confident that all of humanity would love her...That was very stupid, right? Is what she thought."
"..."

Hearing her self-loathe thoughts, I can't help but feel a pain in my chest. This is because I couldn't be honest to her. That's why I hurt her like that.

"When I listened to her, there's one thing that kept bugging me."

Without wasting any moment, she narrowed her eyes and told me.

"Why Amaori?"

 The wind blew stronger, the thick cloud slowly moving away and showered us with an evening sun.

Satsuki-san moved one of her folded arms and rested it on her cheek, she's staring at me.

I always thought that, but, when someone said it right to my face, I felt a stab in my chest. 

Satsuki-san's eyes are prying me just like a magic mirror that can foresee someone's heart. 

"Amaori is plain, always too cautious with others', her grade, sport, face, style, everything is average. She also didn't come from a family with an exceptional background."

She's really being blunt.

I'm sure that she always thought of that all along. "It can't be helped since we are in the same group, but I won't approve of your existence," is what she thought, I'm sure.

"Yeah."

But I feel relieved.

"I understand."

Because that's a given.

Mai and Ajisai-san are kind, but Satsuki-san's reaction is normal. Because I also realized that since the beginning this is not the place where I belong.

Seeing me accept her words well, Satsuki-san looks displeased and frowned at me.

"If it's her, I bet she can freely choose anyone, someone better than you. She knows a lot of celebrities due to her line of work. If she wanted someone from our class, well, I think someone like Ajisai might fit her well."
"Also, Satsuki-san?"
"...So you choose to say my name there, huh."
"Eh. Sorry."

I think I just stepped on a landmine.

Satsuki-san walked a step closer to me. With a strong word, like a needle, it mercilessly stabs my neck.

"Personally I, well, I don't know about her, but as for me I really think of her as my friend, and I respect her. I was the closest to her, and that's why I know that she worked hard to achieve everything in her life."
"..."
"That's why, when I discovered the fact that she chose someone boring, I couldn't stop myself to keep wondering why. Of course I asked her, why did you choose Amaori? And when she heard my question, sheー"

Somehow, at this moment I already know her answer.

I know that while answering Satsuki-san's question, she must have smiled gently, just like a spring breeze.

"[I feel that she's my destiny], is what she said."

I remembered her words, she said that our meeting for the first time was not fate, but the moment when she was together with me on that day, that was something she regarded as her fate.

Satsuki-san who's standing right in front of me is exuding a huge pressure like a guardian deity, but still.

I also have something I want to say.

"Actually, I also thought the same. Someone like me is definitely not suited to be by her side."

That's an easy thing to figure out.

"Well that's a given."

Satsuki-san also agreed with me.

I reacted upon hearing that lack of reaction.

"Eh?"
"I'm not a fool, you see? It's easy to figure it out when we were together. Amaori is very careful with her conduct toward her surroundings, just like a turtle who likes to hide its body behind its shell. Even though that's not really necessary since there's no one who will eat her."

In fact, I feel like I'm being eaten by her words right now. Not that I can say it.

I timidly asked her again.

"Umm. As I thought, you don't like it, right? About me and Mai."
"...What's with that, 'as I thought'?"

She let out an exasperated face. Huh. Did I say something wrong!?

"What I feel doesn't have anything to do with your relationship, right? I'm not that free that I would voluntarily involve myself in other people's romance. But Oozuka Mai dragged me into this problem, so what I wanted to say is, you are being half-hearted in your relationship and it's hurting her. It annoys me seeing her like that."

Satsuki-san continued her words.

"But you can't do it, right? Your personality isn't capable enough to do that."
"Satsuki-san, you sure know me well..."

Does she have observing humans as her hobby...?

"No comment."
"Why!? It's scary!"

But by doing this, I feel like I also slowly know her better...

Satsuki-san is a beauty, and she's tall, she has a stiff expression, at first she had an impression like that, but...even so, she really cares about her surroundings.

"...Could it be that, you are not angry?"
"I'm just pissed. Just because of your stupid love problem my sleeping and studying time is reduced drastically."
"Is that the reason behind your resentment right now?"
"Half of it. But you already understand, right?"

I finally realized what kind of feeling she had in this situation, and what kind of feeling I should have to face her.

It's not like she's in the mood to push me down from this rooftop. I think it's good enough if I treat this like...lending my ears to her grumbling...maybe.

I see. That's why, I will ask Satsuki-san about this.

"But, you see. I don't know. What does she want, what does she seek from me...I have no idea. Because of that, I ended up facing her in a half-baked manner and hurt her."
"It's about yourself, right? Are you stupid?...Is what I wanted to say, but-"

It's like she's hitting me right on the vital point that I only manage to turn away my gaze.

"...I understand your feelings. That kind of feeling when you're lost and don't understand yourself."
"Have you ever felt like that before?"
"Of course. We are still a high-school first-year after all."

So she's being objective right now...

"I always perceive you as someone sharp, like you’re able to control everything, even your hair strand's movement..."
"That's the ideal condition, but I'm also a mere human. I'm not Oozuka Mai."
"Mai is a human too, though!?"
"Nah, she's a single race. Oozuka Mai."

This, I feel like I heard this before...This is something that I've thought once...

I suddenly felt closer to the strict Satsuki-san. Even though it was about Mai, we felt the same about her. It's a fact that I'm an ordinary person, but Satsuki-san is Mai's strongest ordinary best friend...

Moreover, she admitted that she's Mai's friend, I'm sure that she's not an enemy. Then what I should do is...

"Umm, as I thought, I should apologize to you."
"For what?"
"Because I hurt someone who you regard as your precious friend."
"Muu...."

She was scowling after hearing my reason, but that sullenness, I felt like it wasn’t because she was angry. She only tried to hide her embarrassment. 

"I also should apologize to Mai. Since I slapped her, I don't know if she would forgive me, but I'll try my best so we can make up."
"...I see."
"That's why, if you know where she is right now, please tell me."

Satsuki-san holds her hair to keep it from the wind. The image of a witch in the middle of darkness is no longer there, the one who's standing there is definitely a friend I spent my two months with.

"Amaori, you've changed."
"R-really?"
"Before, you depreciated yourself too much, well, it's not like I hate that part of you...But now, you resemble Mai a bit. If you want something, you'll get it even by using force."
"Eh, no way!?"

I plainly shout my displeasure.

For the first time, at that moment, I saw Satsuki-san laugh. Just like enjoying my flustered state, she let out a teasing smile.

"Don't worry, when you interact in the group, you have your usual air around you. Honestly, I never thought that I would have a talk with you like this. If by any chance after this talk I would have ended up talking one-sidedly and made you cry, I planned to just break up our group."
"I see..."

So she talked to me with that kind of determination...

Hm? Wait, does it mean the blame is all on me for hurting Mai...?

Because I made Mai suffer, she wanted to make sure what I wanted to do from here on. If she hadn't liked my intention, she would have already prepared to cut the main problem to protect Mai, which was me...right?

"Eh, Satsuki-san, you like Mai too much, don't you think?"
"..."
"Forgive me for being too impudent."

Somehow the air was pressing me to apologize so I bowed my head.

"I don't know her whereabouts, but I know what she intended to do."
"And that is...?"

Satsuki-san mumbled slowly. It seems like it's something hard to say.

"That girl is..."

She heavily opened her mouth.

"After she finished her monologue about you, she said, Embrace me."

.....................

"Eh!?"
"Yeah..."

This is not the right time to say a simple 'yeah' don't you think?!

"[I hurt Renako so badly by forcing myself onto her even though she doesn't like me, I need to understand her feelings. That's why, Satsuki, as someone that I hold no feelings for, I ask you to embrace me right now. Because, you like me, right?]"

She probably recites Mai's line word by word.

"And then..."
"So I said [You often make me look like a fool, but this time you crossed the line] and then this morning around 5 a.m., I kicked her out from my house."

I'm curious...I'm really curious about her real feelings toward Mai...

But if I straightly asked her that, I got a feeling that she would chuck me instantly from the rooftop...Mai is not here right now, so I can't really guarantee that the trees will act as my pillow this time. I can't sacrifice my life for that question...

"Thank you for your hard work..."

I choose to appreciate her hard work.

Besides, right now I feel a huge relief when I heard they didn’t do anything! I don't understand why, though!

"Seeing her insatiable lust caused by her tattered body and heart, for a moment I thought if I hurt her in that state, my gerd would satiate. What do you think, Amaori?"
"Even if you ask me that..."
"We can't really understand ourselves, right..."
"Right..."

Wait, this is not the time to sympathize with each other.

"In short, right now, Mai is."
"Well, she's looking for someone to embrace her, don't you think?"
"That's..."

I get bewildered. If that's true, right now, Mai might be in someone else's arms.

"W-why didn't you stop her, Satsuki-san!?"

I grab Satsuki-san's hand.

"I just don't have any time to spare for that fool who's doing a completely foolish thing at the level that I never thought before."

She's looking back at me looking a bit surprised and then shook off my hands.

Huh? Her hand was trembling?

"Besides, if she doesn't listen to any word I’ve said, even though she wanted advice, and chooses to act as she pleased, it's better if she just falls into the deepest hole...She won't answer both my calls and messages anyway."

Seeing her strained expression from her side, I couldn't say anything. I'm sure that right now she's deeply regretting not having stopped her.

If half of the reason she called me out here is for grumbling, then the other half is...

...She wanted me to stop Mai, right?

"I get it."

Even though I still don't understand my own feelings.

But this is probably truly what I feel. That's why.

"Satsuki-san, right now, I'll stop Mai for my own sake, this is something that I’ll do by my own will."
"...I see. It's for your own sake. But, is this really okay? She's the one who hurt you, right?"
"That's...well, yeah."

On top of attacking me in my own room, my sister also witnessed the whole thing since Mai was being forceful. I don't really want to remember it...

But.

My answer is simple.

"Because we are friends. Sometimes we can't help but hurt each other."

Because, that's how I picture the ideal relationship between friends.

Hearing my answer, Satsuki-san laughs again. And then, she closed her eyes slowly.

"She's really self-centered, you know? She won't listen to others."

That might be true. She even kissed me forcefully before. That's why.

"ーIf it turn out like that, I'll slap her once again to make her stop."

Satsuki-san opened her eyes widely.

"I see...Well, I think it would be okay then."

When I reached the rooftop door, she called me again in a low voice, "Amaori."

"I don't know where she is, but, please take care of that idiot. Please tell her that she's not as amazing as she thinks."
"Got it."

I make a peace sign with a huge grin, "I will make sure to tell her. Thank you!"

I ran from the rooftop and hurriedly went down through the stairs. 

As bystanders, this scene might look like something that came straight out from a youth drama, but actually I'm just in a hurry to save Mai from her despair before it's too late.

But considering the target is Mai, well, this sure is something huge. Because she's supposed to be a queen that no one can reach.

For now, let's go back to the classroom. Well then, where is she right now I wonder. I don't have any idea about the places she most likely goes to.

"Ah, Rena-chan, welcome back."

There's only Ajisai-san left inside the classroom. There's no one else here, that's rare.

"Aah, yeah. I'm back. What's wrong? Do you have something to do, Ajisai-san?"
"Nnn, that's not really the case. Everyone was going home but I saw your bag was still here, so I chose to wait for you."
"Eehh...Ajisai-san was...waiting for me...!?"

Eh, is this really happening? Today’s not my birthday though!

While bringing her bag, she leaned her body to me.

"Hey, what about today? It seems like Mai-chan is absent today, that's why, want to come over right now?"
"Eh? Is it okay!?"

I'm being invited by an angel to her house. Does this mean we are best friends now...? This must be the moment where the hardships I went through in my life are getting rewarded...

The me who gets depressed and feels like in danger after seeing her friends' social media is long gone...

The one who stands here is a normie who succeeded on her high-school debut, Amaori Renako!

To celebrate this event, the sound of a trumpet echoed inside my head. I walked closer to Ajisai-san.

ーBut then I stop my legs. Mai with her gloomy expression shows up in the back of my head, like she’s pulling my steps.

Aah, I'm sorry.

Her face when she said that hit me like a cold shower right on my head. If she's in that state while getting embraced by someone I don't know...

"I-I'm sorry, Ajisai-san. I'm..."
"Ah, you have something to do?"
"Uh, well........"

My knees are shaking. I can't look at her face.

That's right, as expected I should turn her down right now. I should be looking for Mai. The one who can stop Mai right now is me.

But this is not good. My head can't think straight.

If rejecting an invitation from boys made me dizzy at the point I passed out, what about rejecting an invitation from Ajisai-san the great angel? I don't want to be hated by her, definitely.

"I want to go, but..."

I let out a weak smile and shook my head.

"Rena-chan?"

Uuuh, my chest hurts. It turned out that I hadn't gotten over this trauma!

Ah, I really want to crouch down and just pass out right now. But if I do that, I can't find Mai. Right now, I should...

Somehow I manage to raise my head, and there's Ajisai-san who looks worried in front of me.

"Are you okay? Do you feel nauseous again?"
"Uuu...I'm sorry. Just, invite me next time..."
"Rena-chan, you're crying!?"

So I cried...I didn't realize...

But to turn down an invitation from Ajisai-san, having a determination this much is a must.

"I see, so you have something to do for today."

Hearing her downhearted response, my head feels a great pain. No, but...well, it's true...

If I'm not turning her down right now, it means I don't believe in her.

I can't keep being affected by my past and being anxious. The possibility of being avoided...there's none. Because, even though Ajisai-san is a selfish person who often gets angry, she's not someone who would do something like that.

Her little devil side behind that angelic personality is my mere imagination!

That's why I should properly convey my feelings.

This desire to have good times together with Ajisai-san!

I tried to remember what Mai did so her feelings reached me properly. I realized her sincere feelings since the day she hugged me. 

This time, I want my feelings to reach Ajisai-san, that's why...!

Just like treating her little brothers, she wiped my tears. But then I grab her wrist.

"Listen!"
"Eh? Ah? W-what?"

While holding her hands, I put my feelings into words.

"Actually, I like you, Ajisai-san. I really like you!"

"Eeh?"

Her face was close to mine, so I can see her face turned as red as an apple.

"That's why, I'm sorry...I really am sorry! I also want to be together with you! But, today is impossible!"
"Re-Rena-chan...?"

While strengthening my grip, I keep going. With a sense like saying goodbye to her for the last time, I convey my feelings.

I looked into her eyes.

"I beg you to understand, Ajisai-san. Right now, it's the truth that I really want to go to your house, because, I really like you, Ajisai-san!"
"Eh, eeehhhh...!?"
"Actually, I want to spend every day together with you! Because, I like you! But, I have something important to do for today...That's why, I'm sorry! I will make sure to make up for today! Because, you are my important person!"

I'm really glad no one is here right now. Because, it'd be impossible for me to say things like these if there was someone else here.

"Since we got together in the same group, I always thought that you are cute. When we went to hang out together last time, I felt very happy. Ajisai-san, you are an angel for me, that's why, I really like you!"

I really hit her with my sincere feelings.

Even without considering the other party's feelings, as long as I keep pouring my feelings, I can move someone's heart. That's what Mai has taught me!

While looking confused, Ajisai-san nods her head. 

"Y-yes...I also, like Rena-chan, you know...?"

The distance between our faces is very close, we almost touch each other's noses.

Inside this empty classroom, Ajisai-san slowly closed her eyes. She readies her lips that were covered with the latest summer-color edition...

...Huh? What's with this situation?

For now, I tried to break the silence between us, "Umm."

Ajisai-san quickly opened her eyes. Her pale skin instantly dyed on a red.

"Eh? H-huh? Re-Rena-chan?"
"Nah, umm, well, that's the case, so..."

Ajisai-san rarely got flustered and then she quickly pulled her body. As expected, getting a rejection from someone like me must be a huge shock for her...

No, this is okay. I properly said my feelings. I won't be avoided after this, yup, let's trust Ajisai-san.

"That's why, how about inviting Satsuki-san or Kaho-chan today...?"
"Y-yeah, t-that's right! You have something to do for today! Yeah...I got it."

I released Ajisai-san's hand and she quickly pulled out her hand mirror. She hurriedly fixes her hair, yup, as expected, she's a super cute Ajisai-san after all.

"Ah, but Kaho-chan also has an errand for today."
"Part-time job?"
"Nope, something like a luxurious hotel in Akasaka, I think?"

What's with that, why is Kaho-chan...

"Hmm...? That's...could it be that..."

It finally hit me, I hurriedly picked my bag. I quickly pulled out my membership card that Mai casually made for me, and then I looked at the location on the card.

"It's in Akasaka!"

I see, I bet this is the answer. Mai must be there.

That hotel she brought me to, that pool!

"Thank you very much, Ajisai-san!"
"Eh? U-um, yes."

Once again, I grasped her hands. Amidst the confusion, Ajisai-san also gripped my hands back.

With those red cheeks, she smiled bashfully.

"I don't get it at all...But, do your best, Rena-chan."
"Yup! I will!"
"When everything has ended...at that time, you should come to my house, okay? Ah, or could it be that, you prefer days where my little brothers aren't home...?"
"Eh?"
"N-nothing! T-that's not it! There's nothing!"

Ajisai-san flapped her hand swiftly, looking at her adorable gesture I really wanted to give her a hug.

With heart-broken feelings, I said my goodbye to Ajisai-san.

"Well then, see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, see you."

Even though I just turned down her invitation, I felt content.

This must be because Ajisai-san just saved me from my old trauma.

Now I'm sure that she's an angel who was sent to lead lost little lambs like me.

But still, I can't shake off this feeling like I just missed something important, I wonder what it is...Something like I just overlooked a once in a lifetime chance...Well, whatever!

Dammit, that Mai! Because of you I can't hang out with Ajisai-san!

Everything, since the beginning! It's all on her!

Mai asked Satsuki-san, "You like me, right?" back then. The result was a total rejection from Satsuki-san, but she surely chose someone else after that.

Someone that she holds no feeling for, but someone that has feelings for her. 

If that's the case and what Satsuki-san said is true, Kaho-chan, who confessed to Mai two months ago, might be the best candidate.

When I figured it out, it gave me a bit of a relief knowing her partner was a girl and someone I knew...But that's not something she's wishing for, so I still need to stop her.

It's not like she would die if I failed at stopping her...But still, I don't want that! 

Inside the train, I tried to call both Mai and Kaho-chan, but they wouldn't pick up their phone.

With an impatient feeling I hurriedly walked to the hotel in Akasaka, and when I arrived.

"Ha?"

The hotel lobby is filled with Ashi-High's students.

"Haa!?"

I wonder how many people were here. Around twenty? No, it's more than that. Around one class? They look like students on their school trip. Considering this place is a high-end hotel...the image is so mismatched...

The ratio between girls and boys doesn't look even, maybe around 2:8. The people here consist of first to third grade students. Everyone brought a certain envelope with a nervous expression.

In the middle of those students, I finally found someone I was familiar with and pointed my finger at her.

"Kaho-chan! Found you!"
"Eh? Waa, so even you also came, Rena-chan!?"
"What did you mean by 'even'? Anyway, what's with this gathering?"

I tried my hardest to reach Kaho-chan by passing a lot of people, she was surprised when she heard my question.

"Eh, you don't know but you came anyway? Or is this a simple coincidence!?"
"Rather than coincidence...Hey, can you show me that envelope for a bit?"

She handed me the envelope and I read the paper inside.

Greetings,
During these rainy days we missed the gentle touch of the sun.
I hope you are doing well, Koyanagi Kaho-sama.
At this moment, I'm wishing for a huge chance in my life which pushed me to make
a huge step in my life.
I already designated a specific place for everyone and I hope to see you there.
It's not very grand, but I wish to notify you that you are invited to my romance activity party.
I am sorry to bother you during this busy time.
But I welcome you to participate in this event.

Sincerely,
Oozuka Mai.

"The heck is this."

Kaho-chan poked my shoulders and I looked to the direction she pointed at.

In front of the hotel escalator there's a sign board pointing at a specific direction.

[Oozuka Mai ◎ Lover's Recruitment Venue]

I read it once again.

"The heck...is that..."
"In short, an audition!"
"I never saw something like this other than in reality shows..."

In short, everyone here are people who got summoned to participate in her audition....? Ah, that's why the classroom was empty back then!

Wait, now that I'm looking more closely, the people who gathered here aren't only students. People who look like hotel guests also hold the same envelope...Aaah! Even that grandpa!?

"So, Mai invited everyone who confessed to her before...?"
"It seems like that was the case! Her popularity sure is awesome~!"

From realizing the way I was calling Mai by her first name, Kaho-chan gripped her hand tightly. 

Meanwhile, it still bugged me when I saw this kind of thing on this scale...Why would she book a hotel hall for this...She's still a high-schooler, right...?

Well, I see...If this many people gather, I bet Mai's wish will be granted...Since Satsuki-san already rejected her offer, she chose to indiscriminately pick someone.

But still, she got kicked out by Satsuki-san's house at 5 a.m. this morning, and here she already made something grand like this...Mai...she must be pretty serious.

"Kaho-chan, do you still long to be Mai's lover even after seeing this?"

Ashi-High's little sister character, without any doubt nods her head.

"Yup! Because, she's rich, and she's a celeb with a gorgeous face after all!"

She gallantly said something that was totally related to a worldly desire. Kaho-chan unexpectedly has a scheming personality!

Could it be that everyone here has the same motive as her!?

"Kaho-chan, I'm sorry. I know that you are looking forward to this party, but as I thought, I will put an end to this farce..."
"Eh!?"

I bet Mai is somewhere in this hotel. When I decided to start looking for that stupid super darling, Kaho-chan grabbed by arm.

"What was that, you can't! It would be troublesome, it'll trouble me!"
"Ah, wa-"

Kaho-chan is small and light, but she's good at sports so she's strong enough to restrain my movement.

Who would have thought that at this point Kaho-chan would become my biggest obstacle!?

"Kaho-chan, are you really okay with someone who made this kind of event!?"
"It's just simple humor, right?"
"She's an airhead!"
"That part of her is cute, don't you think? She already has looks, personality, and wealth anyway!"
"Grrr."

This is not good. As an ex-shut in, it's plainly impossible to fight her with muscle power...

I have no other choice, I should use my communication skill even though I'm crazily weak at that!

"Hey, Kaho-chan, listen to me."
"Nope! Don't wanna!"
"Right now, this is a simple audition, right? The one who will get chosen is one person among these many people. How many people participated in this audition? Judging by the crowds, it's not weird if it reached hundreds. Are you really sure you will get chosen?"
"It's also possible that everyone gets chosen, you know!"
"That's the worst possible outcome, though!?"

That's not even on a two-timing level...

I grabbed Kaho-chan's cheeks with my hands and stared directly into her eyes.

"Listen well! Between losing your chance in this audition, or me putting an end to this ridiculous farce, think carefully about which one has a better outcome for you!"
"U, uuu?"
"If by any chance I succeed in stopping this party, of course Mai will stay single. Which is why, for you who belongs to the same group as her, you would have a higher chance to win over her heart, wouldn’t you!?"
"Ha...! That's true!"

Kaho-chan eyes were sparkling.

"Do you understand!? Of course you will, think this for Mai's sake, okay?"

I released her cheeks, but then she stared at me.

"W-what?"
"But, I won't do this for free. In exchange, answer my question, Rena-chan."
"O-okay..."

With her eyes half-closed, she let out a fine grin and stared at me like appraising something.

"It's always been on my mind, you see!"
"Uh."

Satsuki-san's question from before echoed inside my head, "Why Amaori?" If by any chance Kaho-chan also thinks that I don’t belong to the group, then I'm sure I won’t be able to recover from the huge damage.

But Kaho-chan, while staring at my face, inquired one thing.

"ーRena-chan, you are in love with Mai, right!?"
"Haaaa!?"

I'd never considered that question before so it's an unexpected thing. I can't help but feel surprised hearing that from Kaho-chan.

"As if! To a woman who made this kind of event?! Impossible!"

After seeing my response, Kaho-chan looks satisfied. She laughed hard and then pat my shoulder.

"Got it! It means you are my rival, then! Let's do our best from now on, Rena-chan!"
"You don't get it at all!? Why!? Why did it become like that!?"

She calmly shook her hand and walked away, I only managed to shout angrily at her back. But then, after a few steps, she turned her body to face me and showed a thumbs up with a lovely smile.

I-I can't accept this......!

***

Oozuka Mai leaned her body on a chair with her swimsuit on her body.

She looked sluggish but that expression of her just added an air of eroticism around her. She joined her legs like a well-carved statue. Her tied long hair was flowing smoothly just like a milky way.

"...It's almost time for the event."

She looked at the clock inside the café. She let out a little sigh from her lips.

"I'm really sorry, Renako...I don't have any other way to atone for these huge sins I did to you, but I hope this enough will attain your forgiveness."

For the last time, she looked for a pair of amethyst she loved, but she couldn't find it. That's why she was determined to do this until the end.

"ーIf you really feel like that, just apologize directly to me!"

A sudden angry yell that was not fitted among high society could be heard.

"Uoo?"

Mai raised her head, so finally you're looking at me!

I hid my chest with my hands, and had a huge blush on my face. That's right! I’d already stood in front of her since earlier! But she wouldn't realize!

"...Renako? Why are you here?"
"I was looking for you, searched everywhere, and finally found you here!"
"Besides, what's with that appearance?"
"T-this...When I showed them my member card, they said that I can't go in unless I wore a swimsuit, so I had no other choice!"

I was currently wearing a daring striped bikini.

I didn't really have the time to choose! So I just vaguely told them the type of swimsuit I wanted. It turned out that they handed me this thing...

Turning down stuff is not my hobby anyway...

"I see. It suits you very well...Let's take a picture...Huh, where's my smartphone?"
"As if I know, idiot! It's in the locker, probably! I called you like crazy earlier!"

Mai looked sorrowful and let out a weak smile.

"As I thought...You are angry."
"Yeah that's right!? You made me do a lot of stuff after all!?"

Crap. At this rate we won't manage to do any talks.

Let's calm down a bit. Since I found her, I unconsciously let my anger level hit the top.

The other people also started to look at us anyway...So I decided to calmly sit down facing Mai.

"I heard what happened from Satsuki-san."

Mai furrowed her eyebrow.

"...That's, how far?"
"Everything."
"...I see...That jerk, she unexpectedly has a loose mouth..."

After that, Mai didn't say anything. It looked like she was looking for something to say, I felt like I couldn't approach her right now.

That's why this time it's my turn to let out a heavy sigh.

"...Listen, let's just stop this, Mai."
"I refuse."

She swapped her leg position and focused her gaze on me.

It was her forceful gaze, that I'm bad with.

"I hurt you."
"And that's why you feel the need to accept a punishment? Even though I already said it's okay...? Besides, I was also wrong and I want to apologize since I slapped you that day."

For now, I'm glad I could be honest and said that I was sorry, but Mai won't budge and turned her face away from me.

T-this girl! Are you a kid!?

"Besides, you are being rude to your partner if you treat dating like some sort of punishment game. If you really want to date, please look for someone who you really are in love with..."
"I can't date the one I really love."
"...That's..."

She's talking about me.

Her voice sounded cold, it startled me a little.

I might have been too hasty back then when I thought that as long as I could meet her, she would change her mind somehow.

"And that's why, I have no other choice, I want to keep looking for someone I can love. Are you saying that you will take that chance again from me?"

My heart aches upon hearing her question.

"Mai..."

At this moment, I remembered her words back then.

"I just want to make you understand that it's a bit impossible for someone you rejected to keep being nice to you"

Could it be that, without me realizing the whole thing, I inflicted a lot of pain to her all the time, and at this moment I was finally able to understand her suffering.

Mai rested her hand on her temple and with a calm voice she opened her mouth.

"That's why, it's okay, Renako. Thank you. I really enjoyed the time we spent together. For the last time, as your best friend, I just wish for your blessing for me to look for a new fulfilling love."

On this day, she decided to tie her hair.

An obstinate, and someone strong who won't rely on others. She's Oozuka Mai.

So for Mai, this is the proper distance as friends.

"I also pray for your happiness, from the depth of my heart. If you face any hardship, just tell me. You are someone that I really loved once. I'll make sure to do anything, no matter how far we are apart."
"Wait...Then, how about our match?"
"It turned into nothing."

Mai's eyes fluttered for a moment.

"We are strangers now."

I stretched out my hand.

I forcefully made her face me.

"Renakoー"
"Don't wanna."

I moved my hand.

I took off her hair band, and let it down.

Her hair was shining while swaying around.

Her blonde hair was reflecting the light around us.

"...Renako?"
"It's still, not over...Don't, decide it as you please."

Our gazes finally met.

The fact that she's really a difficult woman, I already knew since the beginning.

But you know, I’m also a woman who can do anything if she wanted.

If I can't do that much, I can't proudly say that I'm her best friend.

"Satsuki-san told me, that Oozuka Mai, that Mai is not someone as amazing as what you thought. And I also agreed with her."
"Even though it's the truth, I always strive to be the ideal version of me. I won't accept her view of me."
"...Even though you can't even control your own lust."

Mai's eyes changed.

Just like receiving a damage right on her vital point, she clenched her teeth.

"...! That's why I decided that I won't hurt you again for the second time! So I won't fail this time! That's why, for your sake, Iー"

It's the first time.

It's the first time I gave her a kiss.

It was only a simple touch, but we kissed for a short moment.

Even though there was another guest, what did I do, I wonder.

But after being kissed, Mai had her body stiffened.

"Even though...I already prepared myself...to give up on you..."

The me who reflected in Mai's eyes had a stiff expression, but smiled anyway.

Honestly, I really want to let out a gorgeous smile like Mai, but I just can't do it well.

But I decided to properly say this.

"Hey, no matter how many times you fail, that's not really a problem. Even though you made a lot of mistakes, I will definitely still accept you, I already said that before, right? So you also didn't believe me, huh.
"But."

She spoke in a weak tone.

Seeing how this super darling behaved just by a single kiss somehow made me want to laugh.

"I lead a life full of mistakes, it’s an everyday thing for me, you know?"
"But, I can't forget that moment, whenever I lay on my bed...That time when you hit my cheek."
"I also already said that before, though. The moment you lay on your bed is the time for your self-reflecting. It's every night for me, you know?"

I stuck my forehead to hers, and decided to just be honest.

"I'm sorry. I'm also at fault here. I should’ve properly said this before, because this is unfair to you. That's why, I'm sorry."
"About what...?"

This is embarrassing.

"The fact that...you are the one I’m always thinking about."
"...Which means?"

Normally, if it was Mai, I wouldn't say this. But for this once...

...Only for today, it couldn't be helped. She looked so fragile to the point where she couldn't make fun of me even just a bit.

"Since you kissed me...I was aware that I already regarded you as a potential love interest..."

I tried to peek at her reaction.

Her face is red.

"Is that, so? You don't, hate me? You slapped me because you hate me, right?"
"That's, you were going overboard...I want you to properly think about the time and place..."
"I can't believe it."

She covered her face with her palms.

"I already thought that everything was over."
"We just had a fight once..."

Her pretty voice is quivering.

"More."
"Eh?"
"Say something, that can make me believe you."
"Uee? That's, kinda embarrassing."

She keeps staring at me.

With that weak gaze, like she clung her hopes on me right now.

U-unfair...

"...Geez. I get it. Mai."

I can't reject her if she uses that kind of face.

Ah, geez.

"At first, I was frightened by your appearance...until when you embraced me, since that time, I really think that you are simply in love with me."

I trace back our memories during this one month.

The time where I became her lover, also her best friend.

"And then, when we had fun at Odaiba, also, when we went into that hotel...when you, did that, to me. Of course I started to become aware of you. That was my first time, and, whenever I thought of you I couldn't stop my heart beating loudly..."

Why would we talk about something like this with only swimsuits on our body.

This was so embarrassing I couldn't look at her face.

"That time when you asked me, just the two of us, on the rooftop before you went overseas, also, when you came home quickly because you wanted to see me, probably, no, the truth is, I was really happy...I was, glad."

I could feel my body becoming hotter, just like burning.

"That's why, when you pushed me down back then, for a moment I thought that I was okay with it...If at that time I simply accepted it, I think I wouldn't regret it that much. But that's when I realized that my half-baked feelings hurt you, it hurt both of us."

Everything happened because I tried to hide my romantic feelings for her.

"Forgive me, Mai. Actually, I quite...like you, you know?"

I tried to say it with my own will, and it turned out that this word, really felt heavy that I ended up trembling.

For the first time, I conveyed my honest feelings not as [best friends], but as [lovers].

"Umm...as expected, I already reached my limit. Is this good enough...?"

I slowly raised my head to make sure what kind of face she made right now.

When I did that, she still looked downhearted.

"Renako...So I hurt you that badly."

But what came out of her mouth was that. So my words didn't reach her at all!?

"Aah, geez!"

I'm getting fed up with this.

I forcefully grabbed her hand and pulled her from the chair.

"Listen, Mai. I can't do something as grand as jumping off from the rooftop for the sake of saving someone like you. But."
"Eh?"
"But, if it's only getting hit by sudden rain, or plunging underwater together with you, I can do that much. Also, it's not something where only you protect me, but where I also protect you. That's what you regarded as [lovers] and what I regarded as [best friends], right!?"

I pulled her hand to the pool side.

"If you are the Oozuka Mai, then I am Amaori Renako!"

After saying that, I made both of us jump into the pool.

With a huge splash sound, we started sinking underwater.

Just like swayed by a strong wind, her hair spread around. She opened her eyes and looked at me with a hugely surprised face.

If it's here, no one can see us. So I won't get embarrassed.

That's why, I grab those cheeks, and kiss her lips.

Amidst the blue world where gravity didn't exist, we exchanged kisses.

Mai put her arms around my back, and pulled me into a hug where we became one.

After a while, we went back to the surface.

A place where we needed to use our words again.

But I'm sure that this time I don't need to say anything to make her understand.

"Did it reach you this time...?"

While pulling up my hair, I tried to ask her and she nodded timidly.

"Aah."

Just like defying the coldness of the water, Mai's body felt hot.

Her wet hair that glued on her skin looked like a golden dress. It's pretty.

Mai leaned her head on my chest.

"Your feelings reached me properly. I'm truly thankful."
"Nn....I'm glad."

If my heartbeat also reached her this time, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

But, really, she's a handful.

"...You’re so spoiled, Mai."
"Fufu...that's true. This is what I called [lovers], while for you this is [best friends], huh."
"Well..."

Best friends aren't supposed to kiss each other, though...!

Mai pushed her palms on my face, and hid my eyes. I couldn't see.

"Eh, wait, what are you doing."
"But still, I'm Oozuka Mai."

I know that.

"I can't show you tears right now, so please just stay like this for a while."
"Eeh...Well, it's okay though...."

What's with that self-made rule...

She's really a troublesome woman.

But it couldn't be helped. The one who’s getting interested in her was me after all.

"Hey, Renako."
"What is it?"
"You said it earlier. You remember your mistakes the moment you lay on your bed every night."
"Yup."
"People other than me sure are amazing...They could live their life with those kinds of thoughts every night."
"Please note that even though it’s true, I didn’t want to die back then, okay?"

She removed her hand, the light hit me suddenly.

Just like the sun, it shined beautifully.

Mai's smile.

"And that's why, you are kind and strong."
"...That's."

I avoided her gaze.

"You are being unfair..."
"Fufu."

Well, that's okay...as long as it made her happy.

"That's why, let's continue our match. We only have one week, though."
"I understand. Let's do this to our heart's content."

She got out of the pool, and I followed her and sat beside her.

Our hands intertwined, just like a pair of lovers, at this moment, I felt that her touch was pleasant.

I ended up laughing.

"The moment you realize that you have a big chance to win this, you quickly become this lively. You are so calculating."
"I am simply happy. Because you, my destined person, has reached out your hand to me, and you treated me as your princess."

This Mai who casually threw an embarrassing line like that, and that Mai who wouldn't show me her tears, both of them are the Mai I like.

...About dating, or the feeling of love, to be honest, I still don't really understand.

"Then, this means we already made up, right?"
"Aah, it does. The things when I hurt you, and when you slapped me, they are already in the past.
"Yup."

I let out a relieved smile. I'm glad, I really am glad.

In the middle of this relief, I was suddenly hit by a huge problem ahead.

"That's right! What about your romance activity party? You won't continue that, right? What would you do with the people who already gathered here? There's a lot of people."
"I'll just explain the circumstances and send them home. I’m already feeling well anyway so I don't really need it."
"That's mean!?"

Hearing my protest, she smiled with a huge confidence like the usual Oozuka Mai.

"What were you saying? Of course they would rejoice. Because, I’m already being this lively after all. That's a given, right?"

This girl...

She really is Oozuka Mai to the core!

Following my order, she reluctantly apologized in front of her guests. 

And then, for some reason Mai started to sing while playing the guitar. "As an apology, I would like to sing a song." The atmosphere turned into a big concert right after she announced it and everyone was fired up.

Her singing skill is on a par with a pro, and while looking at Kaho-chan, who shook her light-stick with full power at the front row, I couldn't help but mumble tiredly.

"The heck is this..."

*****

For more detailed info about the novel, click here

Credit:
TL and everything else: Meatbun
Proofread: Mai88

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